Nick Bendel
Sexy cricket
April 27th 2008 07:02
Just over a week into its debut, the Indian Premier League appears to be a roaring success. The melange of clobbered drives, baying crowds, thumping music, nubile cheerleaders and Bollywood strumpets has proven irresistibly intoxicating. Already, it does not seem as though 59 games in six weeks could possibly be enough.
Traditionalists who bemoan the fact that ‘it’s just not cricket’ fail to recognise how ‘amped’ this exciting new product is. These are dynamic times in which we live, and dynamic times call for a dynamic game. Test matches, for all the subtle pleasures they afford initiated eyes, are no longer vibrant enough to command the attention of today’s market. Admittedly, previous generations once found pleasure in probing spells, dogged rearguards, gallant counterattacks and tactical duels- but didn’t those same people also rhapsodise about the wonders of wireless, or the merits of a sturdy top hat?
If the watchword of yesteryear was refinement, then there is no doubt that the mantra of today’s consumers is sexiness. For everything, you see, must be ‘sexed up’. Without a bombardment of booming sixes, pulsating music, manic cheering and hyperbolic commentary- all of which must be as relentless as a thumping nightclub beat- would not our preferred demographic quickly lose interest? I know it, you know it, and the focus groups know it.
The brains at the IPL have heeded our views and created a product tailor-made to our needs. It has then been shoved down our throats, to either savour or choke on. And while this tournament may be taking place all the way over in India, the repercussions will be felt keenly in Australia, as indeed they will throughout the cricketing world.
Traditionally, Australian summers have consisted of a collection of test matches, followed by a string of limited overs contests. But if the moneymen have their say- and they generally do- this diet of wholesome dinners and sinful treats will no longer be served in balanced proportions. Instead, increasingly frequent helpings of fast food will be prepared. Those who like to dine on lobster, while still indulging in the occasional hamburger, will be dismayed by the culinary future that seems to be unfolding on the subcontinent. From now on, grease, fat and salt will predominate. And there will be chips with everything.
Traditionalists who bemoan the fact that ‘it’s just not cricket’ fail to recognise how ‘amped’ this exciting new product is. These are dynamic times in which we live, and dynamic times call for a dynamic game. Test matches, for all the subtle pleasures they afford initiated eyes, are no longer vibrant enough to command the attention of today’s market. Admittedly, previous generations once found pleasure in probing spells, dogged rearguards, gallant counterattacks and tactical duels- but didn’t those same people also rhapsodise about the wonders of wireless, or the merits of a sturdy top hat?
If the watchword of yesteryear was refinement, then there is no doubt that the mantra of today’s consumers is sexiness. For everything, you see, must be ‘sexed up’. Without a bombardment of booming sixes, pulsating music, manic cheering and hyperbolic commentary- all of which must be as relentless as a thumping nightclub beat- would not our preferred demographic quickly lose interest? I know it, you know it, and the focus groups know it.
The brains at the IPL have heeded our views and created a product tailor-made to our needs. It has then been shoved down our throats, to either savour or choke on. And while this tournament may be taking place all the way over in India, the repercussions will be felt keenly in Australia, as indeed they will throughout the cricketing world.
Traditionally, Australian summers have consisted of a collection of test matches, followed by a string of limited overs contests. But if the moneymen have their say- and they generally do- this diet of wholesome dinners and sinful treats will no longer be served in balanced proportions. Instead, increasingly frequent helpings of fast food will be prepared. Those who like to dine on lobster, while still indulging in the occasional hamburger, will be dismayed by the culinary future that seems to be unfolding on the subcontinent. From now on, grease, fat and salt will predominate. And there will be chips with everything.
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